Rhys Ifans Spatz

Spatz

UK, ITV (Thames/Producers Group International), Children's sitcom, Colour, 1990

Starring: Jennifer Calvert, Paul Michael, Stephanie Charles

(Rhys Ifans had a guest spot on Spatz playing a character called Dave) (This article was borrowed from: https://gladyouremember.webs.com/spatz.htm. Go see the website. It's cool.)

A children's comedy series, tinged with drama, set in the London branch of Spatz, a (fictional) Canadian-owned hamburger franchise restaurant chain. The first series began as T J, the charming, easy-going Canadian in charge of managing the UK operation, and Karen, the authoritarian Canadian in charge of European co-ordination, were hiring their first Spatz Squad and getting the restaurant open for business. A zany, fast-paced series - it had to be, to match the speed of the food - Spatz focused on the frantic goings-on among the wacky restaurant/kitchen staff, with romance and intrigue lingering in the air along with the aroma of burgers and fries. Collectively, the Spatz staff were united in their dislike for rival burger chain Blimpy's.

Aimed at 9-15-year-old viewers, the series was an international co-production with Canadian TV and proved a considerable investment for Thames TV. Mirroring its off-the-wall style, guests during the 33 episodes ranged from footballer Gary Lineker to Nicholas Parsons, and ventriloquist Terry Hall with glove puppet Lenny The Lion, stars of 1950s/60s TV but scarcely seen since.

Transmission Details

Number of episodes: 33 Length: 30 mins

Series One (13) 21 Feb-9 May 1990 · Wed mostly 4.25pm
Series Two (13) 3 Jan-4 Apr 1991 · Thu mostly 4.30pm
Series Three (7) 28 Feb-10 Apr 1992 · Fri mostly 4.40pm

Spatz

A series about life for the staff of Spatz, a branch of a Canadian fast food franchise that has opened in England. The Canadian managerial staff are Thomas "TJ" Strickland and Karen Hansson.

Spatz ran for 3 series/33 episodes on afternoon Children's ITV, 1990-1992, with repeats later in the 1990s (on afternoon CITV and on Scratchy & Co on Saturday mornings) and a special repeat in 2013 (see below).

For me, at a time when it felt grown-up just to be drinking tea, and finding myself enjoying Brookside and Birds Of A Feather almost as much as cartoons, Spatz brought sitcom to a child audience, without being patronising. The characters were larger than life, but only slightly.

On this page you can read about the concept of Spatz and who the main cast and characters were, listen to sound clips and find links to video clips, and see photos taken on set and magazine cuttings about the actors. You can also take a look at the Spatz novel and read how Spatz writers Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman look back on the series.

There is also an episode guide page which includes more of Grant and Lee's memories, and an episode summaries page which takes you through the events of several episodes.

If your ideal nostalgia trip would be to watch as much Spatz as you can, I have put together a YouTube playlist of all the episodes in chronological order. 

About Spatz

Spatz International is a fast food franchise, founded in Canada by Louis Frapelli, that has grown to 2000 restaurants worldwide. As the chain spreads across Europe, the decision is made to open England's first Spatz restaurant.

The location: the (fictional) open-air Manor Park Shopping Centre in Cricklewood in North West London.

Other shops in "the mall" include: a vet's surgery, the betting shop, Grant Lee Bookmakers (formerly Anthony's) opposite Spatz; a video shop; a bank; a library; Undieworld, a lingerie shop; a Blimpy's restaurant (see below).

It's no coincidence that Spatz writers Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro (yes, Grant Lee Bookmakers got its name from them) set another series in Cricklewood (NW2), as Lee explains over on my Mike & Angelo page.

Two Canadians, manager TJ (Thomas Jefferson) Strickland and European Co-ordinator Karen Hansson, are stationed at the restaurant, in an upstairs office. Teenage staff members are recruited and the fun begins.

Getting customers into Spatz involves various publicity schemes, such as celebrity appearances and children's parties, with a significant problem being posed by the competition: Blimpy's burger bars. The local outlet is managed by the nefarious Ivor Willis.

The Spatz Rulebook is often wielded by Karen and is supposed to incite fear and reverence, but has little sway in as chaotic a setting as the restaurant.

'With its multi-cultural cast and mix of accents, [Spatz] is a truly cosmopolitan teen drama peopled by sassy young characters and performed with verve.' - Time Out magazine, 1992

 

Jennifer Calvert as Karen Hansson

Grant Cathro says: ‘Karen … was always the best possible fun to write.  How fantastic to be so utterly incredibly horrible to absolutely everybody all the time.  Maybe it was therapy? Our mean and angry streaks exorcised through K. Hansson, could it be? 

Our earlier creation, T-Bag, wasn’t so unlike Karen, now I think of it. Maybe Lee and I were born to write lines for women like these.

I’ve certainly always been attracted to end-of-the-line characters, but they’ve got to be performed just right: the trick is to bring genuine vulnerability to those devastating lines.  As the writer you can hint at that quality in the text, but the success or failure is ultimately down to the actors to somehow play against the lines.  How lucky we were with both T-Bag and Karen; imagine how cold and unappealing they might have been!! 

Really glad we didn’t wimp out and blandify them for the sake of trying to “add warmth”.  We trusted Liz Estensen and Jennifer Calvert and they paid us back gloriously.’

Jennifer Calvert says: ‘Karen is a dreadful woman. She’s ghastly – really, really awful. She may have a good side to her somewhere, but if she does she keeps it very well hidden. She’s got no sense of humour at all and she’s totally ambitious, just a working machine who sees everyone else just as working machines. She doesn’t mingle with people in her personal life because she just sees people as a means to further her career. She’s horrible. I got very worried that her character would start to creep into my life and I’d end up a bit like her.

‘I decided to leave Brookside because Cheryl’s character was getting a bit boring, nothing ever happened to hear except she’d have the odd fight with Jonathan and pack her bags. I was really frightened I wouldn’t get another job and that I’d end up working in a bar or being a cleaner again. In the end I had two hours to decide whether to stay or not, and I couldn’t think what to do – so I rang my dad in Canada. He encouraged me to take the leap. I’m really glad he did. One of the best things about this show is it’s going out on Canadian TV simultaneously, so all my folks’ll be able to watch it.’

Paul Michael (TJ) says: ‘I loved working with Jennifer, daily. She always gave you so much to work with and off. The Gary Lineker episode [Star Attraction, Series 2] was one of my favourites too as well as the magic one [Clowning Around, Series 1]. [Chris Langham] who played the magician ... was very well known. I think it probably took longer to record his scenes than any others because he kept breaking Jennifer and me up on every take.’

Also been in: T-Bag, Mike & Angelo, The Bill, Stargate SG-1, Brookside, Red Dwarf, Doctors

I was delighted at making email contact with Jennifer Calvert in 2012:

Jennifer Calvert says: ‘O My Goodness, how amazing to see your website. So great to see there are some who remember Spatz in all its technicolour glory.

It was a treat working on that show. From Grant & Lee to Stan & Baz, the wonderful & talented cast & crew and guest artists, when I look back I realise now that we were doing something quite special. Not many kids' shows that I can think of have the same combination of surreal silliness mixed with sharp wit - it was a joy to play and I am thrilled and really grateful that I had a chance to stretch my comedy muscles in such good company.

At the time you just do you best and hope it's working. Thank you for remembering and for reminding me, us, that it did.’

Thank you to Robin for finding this clip of Jennifer Calvert and fellow Brookside cast members performing on Children In Need in 1988. What did she think about seeing it again? ‘I can't tell you how agonisingly, teeth-grindingly, toe-curlingly overjoyed I am’!

Kind thanks to Jamie of The High-T Website for contributing scans of an interview with Jennifer Calvert, in the TV Times magazine of 28/2/90, on the topic of cooking burgers! Click the thumbnails below for larger images.

Paul Michael as Thomas Jefferson Strickland, a.k.a. TJ

Grant Cathro says: ‘Paul worked hard and ceaselessly to pump life into Spatz’s “straight man” and make him memorable. I was always hugely impressed by what he did.’

Courtesy of Jamie of The High-T Website comes this cutting from the magazine Look-In from March 1990, with Paul revealing a surprise connection between him and Jennifer:

I was lucky enough to hear from Paul Michael in early 2005. Like many others, he enjoys remembering the laughter-filled days of Spatz, and would love it to return!

Thanks to Ellis, an early contributor to my website, for remembering that 'TJ was a fan of some kids' show called Rudy Rooster, which seemed to involve him wearing a stupid hat and strutting like a chicken. He also had a train set, which stopped at Strick-land and ended at 'Not Funny' Junction!'

Paul Michael also acted under the name Paul Rothery. He is now known to many in the United States as the voice of Dan Brown audiobooks.

Vas Blackwood as Dexter Williams

Vas Blackwood says: 'Dex has got ambitions of being a manager - so he can be a real crawler at times. But he's a bit of an Arthur Daley character too. He's always got some scam going on.

He's a very 9 to 5 kinda guy and he wants to get on, but ultimately he's a fool to himself. He’s a laugh though.

'I've done a lot of comedy work before like The Lenny Henry Show, and Only Fools And Horses. I reckon I'm a natural to do his part too, 'cause I worked in a McDonald's when I was 15. It was good because Michelle Collins, who plays Cindy in EastEnders, worked there too.'

Also been in: Casualty, Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels, Mean Machine, Only Fools And Horses, I Love 1984, Creep, Mercenaries

Vas Blackwood's YouTube channel; Vas Blackwood on Twitter; Vas talking about Spatz with BBC Radio's Steve White in 2020

Sue Devaney as Jo Collins (Series 1)

Sue Devaney says: 'Jo is 17; she's a northerner who's landed a job working in Spatz selling burgers. She's very loud, very cheeky, very boisterous, very naive and totally man mad. In fact she's just like Sue Devaney, except l gave up men two days ago. I hate 'em.

'I've played a lot of different roles in the last couple of years both for children’s and adult telly. I was In Coronation Street as Kevin's sister and played Mad Bastard in the Real Eddy English, Spatz has been a real laugh to do, although if I’m going to get all political I don't really approve of hamburger joints, and I'd never step inside one. Mind you, after the amount of chips I've served lately I reckon I could get a job in one now, without any trouble.’

Also been in: Dinnerladies, Casualty, Coronation Street

Jamie of The High-T Website kindly sent me this March 1990 cutting from Look-In magazine, where Sue talks about her off-screen band:

Joe Greco as Vince Powers

Also been in: Mike & Angelo, Megamania, Motormouth, the Pink Windmill Kids ("I'm Joe to you!")

Thank you to Joe for messaging me in 2012:

'Had a quick look at your site... what a trip down memory lane! It's nice to know that you remember the show so fondly. People still occasionally ask me about Spatz and I'm always so surprised they remember it! I guess the TV shows you watch when you're a child are the ones that stay with you the longest.

Thanks for keeping Spatz alive.'

Joe's website; Joe Greco on Twitter 

 

Ling Tai as Lily Quang (Series 1 + one appearance in Series 2)

Also been in: Bergerac, Doctor Who, Coronation Street

 

Stephanie Charles as Debbie Wesley

Also been in: The Bill, Grange Hill, Desmonds, the musical Boogie Nights and a Channel 4 ident

 

Jonathan Copestake as Stanley Rydale

Jonathan was kind enough to email me in December 2003. 

Jonathan Copestake says: 'My memories of Spatz are very fond. It was my first professional job after leaving drama school and I considered myself extremely lucky to work with such a supportive cast and crew.

As I remember it, Spatz got funnier and funnier with every new episode and I think it had plenty more life left in it when the last episode was made. Such a shame they didn't go to at least one more series.

Interesting fact: I was at Clwyd Youth Theatre with Rhys Ifans, so when he guested on Spatz, we had already known each other since our teens. Rhys and I once did a production of Harold Pinter's The Dumb Waiter, a two-hander, which I consider one my greatest acting achievements.

Keep up the good work with the Spatz site, it's nice to see it getting the recognition it deserves!'

Also been in: Prime Suspect 4, As Time Goes By, Inspector Morse, The Bill

 

Katy Murphy as Fiona Reddy, a.k.a. Freddy (Series 2 and 3)

Grant Cathro says: 'It was actually me who suggested Katy Murphy for the part of Freddy.  We'd just got the Series Two commission in, and that Friday night I went to see a play on the London Fringe (at The Bush Theatre) where Katy was appearing alongside an old drama school pal of mine, Tom Mannion. (Tom turns up as loopy busker in one of the later episodes [Poetry And Music, Series 3]).  Katy played this spaced-out Glaswegian girl in the play, and something went click in my mind. Perfect for Spatz, I thought.

Lee and I both became huge fans of Katy, and cast her in everything we could.  She was brilliant in a film we wrote called B&B and a perfect delight in the later series of Mike & Angelo.  A little nod in the direction of John Laurie’s wonderful Dad's Army Scottish undertaker character in Freddy; the bagpipe-accompanied mystic visions always being a hoot to concoct.'

Also been in: Holby City, Casualty, Mike & Angelo, The Bill. For more, please see Karen Barclay's blog article on Katy Murphy.

Thank you to Katy for dropping by and signing my guestbook in 2011.

 

Guest stars who went on to even greater things include David Harewood, Rhys Ifans, Sophie Okonedo, Hermione Norris, Victoria Shalet and Julia Sawalha.

Guest stars who appeared as themselves include Gary Lineker, Nicholas Parsons, Lenny the Lion & Terry Hall.

Grant Cathro says: 'Lee Pressman and I, as lead writers on the show, did much of the casting ourselves, often auditioning actors in our office at Thames Television whilst in the midst of actually writing the scripts. We were very ably assisted by casting director Joyce Nettles (late of the Royal Shakespeare Company) who often made super suggestions. We've always adored weird casting mixes.'

Created by Andrew Bethell

Produced by Carol Commisso and Alan Horrox

Written by Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro; Jim Eldridge

Lee and Grant also wrote: T-Bag, Mike & Angelo. See the episode guide page for more on their partnership.

Directed by Stan Swan; Baz Taylor

Recorded at Grip House, Greenford (England)

A YTV/Thames Television production

Thanks to Chris from Canada, for explaining that '"Canadian content" rules force [Canadian TV channel] YTV to create original series often with the help of foreign networks for full financing.'

You can find more on the actors' other roles by searching for their names (or for Spatz) on the Internet Movie Database. Please see my episode guide for more guest actors.

Facebook users can join the Bring Back Spatz group.

You might also like to read the Square Eyes blog's review of Spatz and the review in Adam Beckwith's blog too. And you can listen to The Sitcom Club's podcast about Spatz here.

Spatz: from opening to closing

On this page you can read:

How Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman became the writers of Spatz

A guide to all 3 series and 33 episodes

Answers given by Grant to questions from fans

A table showing how actors moved between Spatz, T-Bag, Mike & Angelo and Grant and Lee's other children's series.

Below all that, you can read two Spatz sketches written by me: Horses For Courses and Cha Crossed.

History of Spatz

Grant Cathro tells how, while mixing acting and writing, he met Lee Pressman:

'Got involved in writing sketches for a kids' TV show called Words Words Words (Thames). [See an episode on VideotapeFTW's YouTube channel here.] At the rehearsals for this I met Lee Pressman, who had just been given a commission to write a 10-part comedy. We hit it off at once, he asked me to collaborate – the result was T-Bag, and it ran for almost ten years!

Lee and I became flavours of the decade at Thames TV, 'coz T-Bag was such a monster hit, and when Alan Horrox took over the department (around 1987 I think) he really championed the pair of us (which was blooming marvellous) and gave us no end of opportunities to flex our muscles. Spatz was one of the shows he offered to us.

A guy called Andrew Bethell had devised Spatz as a teen drama, a soap, really. Alan didn't think that would play. He decided it sounded more like a sitcom. So he bought the title and the concept off Andrew and handed the whole project over to Lee and me to develop as a comedy.' Continued below.

Spatz Series 1

Grant Cathro writes:

'Being quite a big-cast-high-budget show, it needed to be made as a co-production. Suddenly we were both stuck in a windowless room with a Canadian writer called Terry Saltsman, trying like mad to find common ground.

If Series 1 is kind of uneven - and it is - it's because we were pretty much making it up on the hoof. Other writers submitted scripts which the three of us tore to shreds and almost entirely rewrote. This is the North American way with 'team writing' - Lee and I never really took to it. But we did our best to battle through what was a pressureful (but stimulating) time.'

All Series 1 episodes were first shown on Wednesdays at 4:40pm and lasted 25 minutes.

I've included both the summaries provided to me by Grant Cathro and memories of the episodes which visitors kindly contributed in my website's early years. Look out for links to episode clips on YouTube as you scroll down.

You will also find TV listings scans from Look-In and TV Times kindly donated by Jamie of The High-T Website in 2011 and 2012. Where they are too small to read, click to enlarge.

If your ideal nostalgia trip would be to watch as much Spatz as you can, I have put together a YouTube playlist of all the episodes and clips I could find. It's in chronological order too. 

On 20th February 1990, the day before Spatz began, it was promoted via an item on TV Weekly about top children's TV shows, and by Vas Blackwood (in costume as Dexter) on Children's ITV. Both can be seen in this YouTube video. 

 1.1 Royal Visit

First shown 21/02/90. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman

'It's opening day at Spatz, London’s latest fast-food sensation. But with only 4 hours to go, the manager, TJ Strickland, has much on his plate: the building is half finished and short-staffed, and Mrs. Frapelli, the owner’s wife, is about to arrive for the grand ribbon-opening ceremony featuring no ribbon and nothing to cut it with. Yet there’s even more chaos on the menu when an uninvited guest turns up and tries to put a squeeze on the festivities.'

Guest cast:
Dave Atkins as Morris
Also been in The Bill, Bergerac, Lovejoy
James London as Gilbert
Kate Harper as Mrs. Frapelli
Also been in Space Precinct, Bergerac, Batman

This episode is available in full on YouTube, including original Children's ITV continuity at the beginning and end.

1.2 Sound Of Muzak

First shown 28/02/90. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman

'Heavy metal man Vince Powers quickly changes his tune when he realises that the girl he’s got a crush on, Chloe, is a Mozart freak. Music of another sort is driving the staff out of their minds – it’s the brain-numbingly jolly Spatz jingle which Karen has had committed to a loop tape and insists on playing all day long. Meanwhile a customer called Mr. Fox loses his wallet at the same time as Vince becomes inexplicably well-off.'

Spatz takes on a new employee, Toni Gordon, in this episode.

Guest cast:
Samantha Janus as Toni Gordon
Now Samantha Womack. Also been in The Bill, EastEnders, Babes In The Wood
Julia Sawalha as Chloe Fairbanks
Also been in Press Gang, Absolutely Fabulous
John Rapley as Mr. Fox
Also been in Goodnight Sweetheart, The Avengers, White Hunter Black Heart

Watch a 6:45 clip from this episode on YouTube... or the whole episode.

 

1.3 Toni's Tall Tale

First shown 07/03/90. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman

'Toni Gordon is a girl with a problem. Two problems, actually: one, her mother and two, her father. The reason? In a moment of crisis and low self-esteem she wrote and told her Scottish parents that she's been promoted to the position of manager at Spatz. When Mr. and Mrs. Gordon unexpectedly turn up, Toni's forced to take control of the situation – and the restaurant. Meanwhile, Dexter loses all control in his bid to be the first employee to sell 500 hamburgers and win a corporate trip to Paris.'

Guest cast:
Samantha Janus as Toni Gordon (final episode)
Jenny Lee as Mrs. Gordon
Also been in Holby City, Hot Metal
Jake D'Arcy as Mr. Gordon
Also been in Hamish Macbeth, Lovejoy, The Bill, Gregory’s Girl
Mary Duddy as Nun
Also been in The March, The Temptation Of Eileen Hughes
Jeremy Stockwell as Customer
Also been in T-Bag, Kavanagh QC, The Infinite Worlds Of HG Wells
Simon Slater as Mr. Peters
Also been in The Bill, Lovejoy, Casualty

Watch clips from this episode on YouTube: 0:59, 1:20. Or the whole episode.

 

1.4 Karen's Birthday

First shown 14/03/90. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman

'Karen takes a tip from the Spatz Tokyo outlet and introduces an early morning exercise programme designed to keep the hard-pressed staff on their toes. After Karen has publicly humiliated Vince and Jo during one of the workouts, the duo get together and not only discover that it's Karen’s birthday, but also that she has had a 'nose job'. They decide to organise a knees-up their boss will never forget (including a birthday card with Pinocchio on and full of nose-related puns). Meanwhile, TJ is on crutches after pulling a muscle at the exercise class and now lives in horror at the prospect of letting down his hockey team.'

Jo Collins (Sue Devaney) is introduced in this episode, and the opening credits change accordingly.

Guest cast:
Peter MacQueen as Police Constable
Also been in Cover Her Face, Happy Families

This episode is available on YouTube.

 

1.5 Local Hero

First shown 21/03/90. Written by JD Smith

'While Karen racks her brains dreaming up yet more publicity gimmicks, TJ's much-derided first aid class gets a shot in the arm when Lily uses what she learnt to save a choking customer's life. Karen quickly sees a chance for some free newspaper coverage and plans to exploit Lily's heroic action for all its worth. There's just one problem: Lily adamantly refuses to cooperate because her dad has no idea she’s working here and would be appalled if he did. But when did Karen ever take no for an answer?'

Guest cast:
Dennis Matsuki as Mr. Quang
Also been in The Bill, The Professionals, Notting Hill
Bill Gavin as Old Man
Also been in Boon, 2point4 Children, Staggered
Betty Romaine as Old Woman
Also been in The Bill, Agony, Teenage Health Freak
Paul Bigley as Customer
Also been in Shakespeare In Love, Men Behaving Badly, Ted & Ralph

Watch a 1:21 clip from this episode on YouTube or the whole episode on YouTube

 

1.6 Death Of A Spatzman

First shown 04/04/90. Written by JD Smith

The title parodies Arthur Miller’s play Death Of A Salesman.

'Dexter sets his sights high when TV soap star Cindy Stewart blows in for a bite at the restaurant. The question is, will she swallow fast-talking Dexter's outrageous claim that he's not really a greasy nobody but is in fact the son of the Senegalese ambassador? Meanwhile, TJ is having major pay-cheque problems when the central Spatz computer goes haywire and issues a grave announcement – that TJ is dead.'

Guest cast:
Emma Davies as Cindy Stewart
Also been in Cambridge Spies, Boon, Doctors
Roland Oliver as Telephone Voices
Also been in The Bill, Eastenders, Holby City, Bad Girls
Cindy's soap opera, The Flying Foot Doctor, is mentioned again in Spatz Series 2 Episode 1... then again in Mike & Angelo Series 9 Episode 3 by the Australian neighbours the Boomers.

This episode is available on YouTube. 

 

1.7 The Wild Brunch

First shown 11/04/90. Written by Vito Viscomi

'A gang of teenage hoodlums starts hanging around the restaurant and Karen orders TJ to get rid of them. But when the self-styled Diablos return it's with revenge on their minds. When it is revealed that Vince used to belong to the gang, his loyalties are sorely tested as he comes to wrestle with the problem.'

Guest cast:
Roman Foster
Michael Norman
Damian Williams as Lumpy
Neville Watson as Blood
Also been in Terry On The Fence, The Comic Strip
Gavin Watson as Twister
Also been in The Bill, Swing, The Comic Strip
Nicholas Greenshields as Boy
Also been in Cole
Gladis Robinson as Old Lady
Also been in The Secret Diary Of Adrian Mole Aged 13 3/4, The Woman In White

This episode is available on YouTube.

 

1.8 Greenpieces

First shown 18/04/90. Written by David Joss Buckley

'A protest group calling itself Planetwatch pickets the restaurant, ruining Karen's quarterly profit figures. It may be friendly to the environment, but Planetwatch is downright hostile to Spatz – that is, until its ringleader Sebastian gets the hots for Jo. It takes a special package, sent from Granny Strickland to TJ, finally to give the protesters some food for thought.'

Jo mentions an upcoming date with Sebastian at the beginning of the next episode.

Guest cast:
Jeremy Gilley as Sebastian
Returns later in Series 1. Also been in Lovejoy, Bergerac. Twitter account
Chris Sanders as Customer
Also been in Rumpole Of The Bailey
Andy Laycock as Customer
Also been in The Bill, Lipstick On Your Collar

This episode is available on YouTube. 

 

1.9 Clowning Around

First shown 25/04/90. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman

'TJ conjures up a plan for Spatz to host kids' parties and reckons he’s come up with a wizard scheme. But as usual (since it wasn't her idea) Karen is deeply unimpressed and soon the whole enterprise seems doomed to failure. But when Head Office green-lights the project and commends TJ for his initiative, Karen sees red and decides to sink the party plan once and for all. Meanwhile, the staff work their magic on Stanley to get him ready for his first date.'

A visionary episode, tactfully addressing the problems of meeting people on the internet. There is a script summary for this episode on the Episode Summaries Page and a 2:01 clip from this episode on YouTube. Paul Michael (TJ) remembers it as one of his favourite episodes.

Guest cast:
Chris Langham as Marvin The Magnificent
Also been in Roy Mallard, Kiss Me Kate, radio adverts for radio advertising, George Orwell: A Life In Pictures. (Paul Michael writes: 'I think it probably took longer to record his scenes than any others because he kept breaking Jennifer and me up on every take.')
Clare Byam Shaw as Pippa
Also been in Family Affairs, Bergerac, Casualty, Lord Elgin And Some Stones Of No Value
Jade Magri as Henny
Also been in Mike & Angelo (as Ellie in Series 4), Runaway Bay, The Orchid House
Zoë Hodges as Elektra
Also been in Virtual Sexuality, 84 Charing Cross Road

This episode is available on YouTube. 

 

1.10 The Strike

First shown 25/04/90. Written by Wilson Coneybeare

'The staff of Spatz is revolting. When Vince discovers that rival hamburger chain Blimpy's is paying their staff 10p more an hour than Spatz, it's a case of down with the pickle choppers and up with the workers when Karen lets it be known that she'd sooner throw herself into the deep fat fryer than pay them more money. Agitprop Sebastian is back to join the strike force and picket the scabs – and Jo gets to see her sweetheart in an altogether new light.'

Guest cast:
Jeremy Gilley as Sebastian
Previously seen in episode 1.8
Ricky Diamond as Bernie Wilson
Also been in Playbus
Geoffrey Beevers as City Gent
Also been in Dalziel And Pascoe, Red Dwarf, Coronation Street
Ann Wrigg as Elderly Lady
Also been in Bless Me Father, To Serve Them All My Days

This episode is available on YouTube. 

 

1.11 Sing For Your Supper

First shown 02/05/90. Written by Terry Saltsman

'The staff are used to Karen calling the tune, but there's dischord in the ranks when she instructs the staff to sing out the customers' orders. Will Debbie and Derek ever make sweet music again, or will her hot date with good-looking Terry hit the right note?'

Guest cast:
Emile Charles as Terry
Also been in Like It Is, The Fruit Machine, Red Dwarf & is Craig Charles' brother
John Abbot as Shop Manager
Also been in Kappatoo, Science Fiction Theatre, The Tempest

This episode is available on YouTube.

 

1.12 Smart Cookies

First shown 09/05/90. Written by Terry Saltsman

'A battle of wits is in danger of escalating into an all-out war when TJ challenges Ivor Willis, the manager of Blimpy's, to a friendly trivia quiz. With secret weapon Lily up their sleeve, the Spatz team is confident of blasting the Blimpettes clean out of the water – until Lily's grandmother falls ill and she has to go away for the week. Meanwhile, Jo's part-time jobs threaten to knock the stuffing out of her.'

Guest cast:
Paul Grunert as Ivor Willis
Also been in The Bill, Goodnight Sweetheart, Rumpole Of The Bailey. Returned in Series 2 and 3 of Spatz. Website
Jonathan Chater as Blimpy Boy
John Ward as Professor Billy
Also been on Motormouth, GMTV, Kilroy – he's an inventor

This episode is available on YouTube.

1.13 Bye Bye TJ

First shown 16/05/90. Written by Terry Saltsman

'TJ gets promoted. It seems like great news, but the downside is he's got to return to Canada (that's somewhere just north of the USA). For Karen this is the upside; that is, until TJ's replacement arrives, in the shape of Melvin Frapelli, slobbish and conniving nephew of the Managing Director. Even Karen's got to admit that things were better before. But how to unseat golden boy Frapelli and reinstate Thomas Jefferson Strickland? That is the question. And it’s a sticky one.'

Guest cast:
Dan Redican as Melvin Frapelli
Also been in Due South, The Twilight Zone
Stuart Fox as Man
Also been in Casualty, The Vice, The Scarlet Pimpernel
Graham Chinn as Delivery Man
Also been in The Bill, Lovejoy, Poirot

The full episode is available on YouTube. There's also an earlier upload with the first and last few seconds of this episode in this video on YouTube from 2:47 onwards.

Spatz Series 2

Grant Cathro writes: 'The show did very well in the ratings and received a second series commission. This time it was not going to be a co-production but Thames TV’s own baby. Lee and I were given control over the whole thing. A few other writers contributed scripts, which, naturally, we tore to shreds and almost entirely rewrote ...'

All Series 2 episodes were first shown on Thursdays at 4:40pm and lasted 25 minutes.

 

2.1 Star Attraction

First shown 03/01/91. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman

'When new girl Freddy joins the crew, Dexter quickly takes her under his wing. The Williams’ silver tongue is quickly in top gear, and he shamelessly declares himself 'friend of the stars' ... however when Karen takes him up on his word and instructs him to invite his "best buddy" soccer superstar Gary Lineker to visit Spatz as a publicity gimmick, Dexter comes to realise he's gone and put his foot in his mouth.'

When TJ asks what would happen to the 2000 specially-made badges if "Barry Binliner" (Karen's name for Gary Lineker) doesn't show up, Karen replies, "Stick them into Mr. Namedropper downstairs!" Thanks to Ellis for mentioning this.

Paul Michael (TJ) remembers this episode as one of his favourites. There is a script summary for this episode on the Episode Summaries Page.

Guest cast:
Rhys Ifans as Dave
Would return in episode 2.3. Also been in Notting Hill,
Kevin And Perry Go Large, The 51st State
Jo Unwin as Mother
Also been in Press Gang, Casualty, Inspector Morse
and Prudential adverts
Matthew Boyer as Fan
Victoria Shalet as Girl
Would return in episode 2.8 as Emily Jane Mudge. Also been in The Queen's Nose, The Bill, Jonathan Creek. Psychotherapy website
Gary Lineker as Himself
Also been in the England football team and adverts for Walker's Crisps

This episode is available in full on YouTube: original 1991 broadcast with Children's ITV continuity; 1993 repeat with CITV continuity.

Fictional soap opera The Flying Foot Doctor, mentioned in this episode, was also mentioned in Spatz Series 1 Episode 6... then later in Mike & Angelo Series 9 Episode 3 by the Australian neighbours the Boomers.

In 2019, Vas Blackwood and Gary Lineker interacted on Twitter as a consequence of one of my tweets about this episode. Which was nice. Vas talks about it in this BBC Radio interview with Steve White.

2.2 Karen's Mother

First shown 10/01/91. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman

'Karen finds herself on the horns of a dilemma when, in order to placate her pushy mother, she announces that she’s engaged to TJ. Unfortunately TJ's new girlfriend gets to hear about this unforgivable chicanery, and very soon the long claws are out – and slashing. Meanwhile, the new Spatz food delivery service (a.k.a. a clanking pushbike with a slipping chain) is driving the staff to distraction.'

This episode marked Lily's only appearance in Series 2. Credited as a guest artiste, she has only two scenes and one line. The reasons for this, and any editing that led to it, are unknown.

Ellis remembers that this episode features a kiss between TJ and Karen, as they try to persuade Karen’s mother of their engagement. Another occurs in the final episode, under the mistletoe, with TJ dressed as Father Christmas.

Guest cast:
Helen Horton as Natalie Hansson
Also been in The Bill, T-Bag, The Benny Hill Show, Superman III
Catherine Russell as Julie
Seen again later in Series 2. Also been in Poirot, An Unsuitable Job For A Woman, Holby City
Elizabeth Stewart as Customer
Also been in Are You Being Served?

This episode is available in full on YouTube: original 1991 broadcast, including Children's ITV continuity.

 

2.3 Time And Efficiency

First shown 24/01/91. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman

'A time and efficiency expert is called in to streamline the Spatz operation. The obsessive Mr. Pashby's eyes roll out his head when he arrives at a particularly chaotic moment, and his recommendations prove to be horrendously far-reaching – horrendous for the staff, that is. So Vince and Dexter make some small amendments to Pashby's report, which Karen insists are carried out to the letter by TJ – with surreal results. Amidst all this, love flourishes: Freddy and her building-site boyfriend, Dave, cement their relationship.'

This episode features the return of Dave, Freddy's boyfriend, from Star Attraction (episode 2.1).

Guest cast:
Alex Bartlette as Mr. Pashby
Also been in T-Bag and worked on Mike & Angelo as a writer
Geoffrey Freshwater as Customer
Also been in The Bill, EastEnders, Foyle's War, Doctors
Rhys Ifans as Dave

Watch clips from this episode on YouTube: a 1:55 clip, a 2:27 clip and a 3:04 clip. The episode is also available in full.

There is a script summary for this episode on the Episode Summaries page.

 

2.4 The Poster

First shown 31/01/91. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman

'Karen seeks advice from TJ on how to win herself a husband - but not just any old husband: she’s got her sights set at the top of the tree, for multimillionaire Spatz tycoon Frapelli is in town ... and according to the grapevine, between wives at the moment. Behind the counter, there's rivalry of another sort afoot, for head office has just announced a corporate competition to find the Ideal Spatz Employee, and soon poster fever runs rampant and friendships are forgotten.'

Guest cast:
Kate Riding as Angela
Also been in Brookside, Heartbeat
Clive Rowe as Coachdriver
Also been in The Story Of Tracy Beaker, The Honeytrap
Alibe Parsons

Watch clips from this episode on YouTube: a 2:56 clip (with the cat fight) and a 1:53 clip. It's also available in full.

 

2.5 Fire Alarm

First shown 07/02/91. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman

'Vince is absent, so TJ persuades his girlfriend Julie to replace him for the day. Sparks fly when Karen gets to hear about it, for she's taken a personal dislike to the woman who's "so wet there's a salmon leaping up her dress" and is determined to get her fired even quicker than she got started. And speaking of fires, there's trouble smouldering when Karen's new cheap and cheerful alarm system starts playing up.'

Ellis describes the episode as follows: 'Karen set fire to the restaurant by jamming a bap in the toaster [while working late one night] - something a newspaper horoscope predicted she would do. She was rescued by TJ's girlfriend, and emerged from the building carrying the fish tank.'

Guest cast:
Catherine Russell as Julie
Previously seen in episode 2.2
Kenny Ireland as Johnnie
Also been in Hamish Macbeth, House Of Cards, Drop The Dead Donkey, Benidorm. Passed away in 2014
Malcolm Mudie as Customer
Also been in The Professionals, Inspector Morse, The Brittas Empire
Denise Coffey as Mildred
Would return in episode 3.5. Also been in The Tomorrow People, T-Bag, Saving Grace

There is a script summary for this episode on the Episode Summaries page. The episode is available in full on YouTube: original 1991 broadcast with Children's ITV continuity; later repeat.

 

2.6 The Siege

First shown 14/02/91. Story by David Joss Buckley. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman

'One by one, the staff and management of Spatz are mysteriously vanishing. But there's nothing supernatural about the armed robber who finds himself having to take more and more people hostage in a failed robbery bid. The big question: is the Twitching Man really a dangerous armed robber, or is he just a jerk with a courgette for a gun?'

Guest cast:
Steve Steen as The Twitching Man
Also been in Press Gang, Blackadder The Third, The Suicidal Dog
Michael Bertenshaw as Trevor the Spatz deliveryman
Would be seen again in episode 2.10. Also been in Mike & Angelo, The Bill, Casualty, Doctors
George Sweeny as The Inspector
Also been in The Bill, Return Of The Saint, Minder, The Sweeney
Amy Melhuish as Girl
Also been in Casualty, B&B, Ball-Trap On The Cote Sauvage

Watch clips from this episode on YouTube: a 3:30 clip and a 2:57 clip. Or watch the whole episode on YouTube: original 1991 episode with Children's ITV continuity; later repeat.

 

2.7 Debbie's Wedding

First shown 21/02/91. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman

'Wedding bells herald a ding-dong between Debbie and Derek, but the only bells Vince can hear are the ones ringing up a fat profit in his cash register shaped head. He stands to make a killing if he can persuade Debbie’s mother to let him handle the reception do. But first, he's got to persuade Debbie's mother to let her daughter get married in the first place.'

Guest cast:
Dona Croll as Mrs. Wesley
Also been in The Bill, Casualty, Gimme Gimme Gimme, Family Affairs
Sally Sagoe as Mrs. Pewley
Also been in The Tomorrow People, EastEnders
Catherine Russell as Julie
Gordon Rimes as Bert
Trevor Peacock as Frank
Also been in T-Bag, The Vicar Of Dibley, Bugs, Mel Gibson's Hamlet

You can watch the whole episode on YouTube: original 1991 broadcast with Children's ITV continuity; later repeat. 

 

2.8 Talent Contest

First shown 28/02/91. Story by Jim Eldridge. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman

'TJ incurs the wrath of Karen when he allows a local talent show to be staged at Spatz. Meanwhile, Dexter is dating two girls at the same time.'

Guest cast:
Allan Corduner as Rex
Also been in The Bill, Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, Trust
Hermione Norris as Wendy
Also been in The Bill, Casualty, Lucky Jim, Cold Feet
Sophie Okonedo as Kim
Also been in The Bill, Casualty, Clocking Off, Doctor Who, Undercover
Victoria Shalet as Emily Jane Mudge
Seen previously in episode 2.1
Tricia Kelly as Mother
Also been in The Bill, Spin City, My Family
Seeta Indrani as Marjorie
Also been The Bill, Casualty, Footballers' Wives. Official website

Watch the whole episode on YouTube: original 1991 broadcast with Children's ITV continuity; later repeat. 

 

2.9 Things That Go…

First shown 07/03/91. Story by David Joss Buckley. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman

'Weird happenings abound and the staff are freaking out. Can it be true? That the restaurant, built on the site of an ancient graveyard, is being haunted by spirits who have an aversion to the smell of fried onions? There's only one way to find out: stage an all-night vigil. But tonight’s the night Karen and TJ are off to a fancy dress party...'

Guest cast:
Tony Bluto as Chunky
Also been in Doctor Who, Casualty, The Bill
Helena McCarthy as Old Lady
Also been in The Bill, Casualty, Z Cars
Harry Jones as Gizmo
Also been in The Tomorrow People, Time Riders, Casualty, The Bill

Watch the whole episode on YouTube: original 1991 broadcast with Children's ITV continuity; later repeat. 

 

2.10 Charlie

First shown 14/03/91. Story by David Stafford. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman

'It never rains but it pours: on the day an important food critic’s arriving, the Spatz delivery van has got itself lost and now there’s no food to critique; Stanley's pet ducklings are on the rampage; the electrical circuits have blown a fuse; Vince's twin brother electrician doesn't know an amp from a watt; and there's a mysterious lost boy called Charlie who's right at the centre of it all, lapping up the three ring circus.'

David Stafford also wrote scripts for Mike & Angelo as well as music for both series.

Guest cast:
Michael Bertenshaw as Trevor
Previously seen in episode 2.6
Belinda Sinclair as Mum
Also been in Casualty, Family Affairs, Heartbeat
Stephen Pollard as Charlie
Also been in The Tomorrow People 
Ian Talbot as Building Site Worker
Also been in Casualty, B&B, As Time Goes By
Joe Greco as Darren Powers

Watch the whole episode on YouTube: original 1991 broadcast with Children's ITV continuity; later repeat. 

2.11 Loot

First shown 21/03/91. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman

'Everybody's losing it today: Karen can't find her contact lenses, the bank manager's heart is gone completely to 'The Magnificent Ms. Hansson', and Freddy's cool vanishes when she accidentally mislays £3000 of Spatz's money. Not even intergalactic superhero Captain Electric (a man who has clearly lost his mind) can locate its whereabouts. Freddy decides to take drastic action by contacting a nefarious loan shark and borrowing another £3000 to satisfy the bank. Then she loses that, as well...'

Guest cast:
Duncan Preston as Peter Jonathan
Also been in T-Bag,
The Bill, Casualty,
Press Gang, Dinnerladies
Danny John-Jules as Captain Electric
Also been in The Bill, Red Dwarf,
The Tomorrow People
Official website: http://www.dannyjohnjules.com/
Anthony O'Donnell as Danny Bunce
Also been in The Bill, T-Bag, Secrets And Lies, Mike & Angelo (again as a loanshark), The Sarah Jane Adventures

The galaxy Amtoudi, mentioned by Captain Electric, was home to an alien called Marjorie in the Mike & Angelo episode The Blob, shown later in 1991.

There is a script summary for this episode on the Episode Summaries Page. The next-episode preview can be seen at the end of this YouTube upload of Star Attraction (shown the week earlier during CITV's repeats in 1993).

Watch the whole episode on YouTube: original 1991 broadcast with CITV continuity; later repeat. 

 

2.12 From Russia With Love

First shown 28/03/91. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman

'The Russians are coming! - so hollers Karen when a delegation arrives from Moscow with a view to picking up the Spatz franchise and introducing the concept of food poisoning to the USSR. Desperate to impress the visitors, Karen is agog to find that TJ has gone to pieces. The reason? He’s just been given the heave-ho by Julie, and nothing can console him. Meanwhile, something smells decidedly off when Vince gets involved in some under-the-counter perfume deals, and an unlikely romance blossoms over the hot grill.'

Guest cast:
Libby Morris as Nadia Kitchenko
Also been in Space Patrol, Casualty, Mike & Angelo (as Rita's mother Nancy Mancini)
Joanna Roth as Alexandria Kitchenko
Also been in Holby City, Boon, Sliding Doors
Campbell Morrison as Boris
Also been in The Bill, Casualty, Eastenders, Eldorado
Megan Kelly as Woman
Also been in T-Bag
Adrian Kay as Customer

Watch the whole episode on YouTube. 

 

2.13 Takeover

First shown 04/04/91. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman

'The staff of Spatz turn green, but not with envy: they've all become Blimpettes. The nightmare scenario has happened: inveterate gambler Louis Frapelli has been beaten in a poker game by rival restaurateur Roland Blimpy, and now the chips are down because Spatz was put up as the stake. A new colour scheme heralds the arrival of a new boss, the loathsome, gloating Ivor Willis, who takes a special delight in humiliating TJ by demoting him to humble onion chopper. However, Vince reckons there may yet be a way of turning the tables.'

Here is Joseph's summary of the episode: 'Spatz was turned into Blimpy's; but then TJ made a bet – who could eat the most chocolate éclairs – and he won, and Spatz was brought back to its original state.'

This episode marked the return of local Blimpy manager Ivor Willis, and the first appearance of Derek, Debbie's partner.

Guest cast:
James Saxon as Roland Blimpy
Also been in T-Bag, Casualty, McCallum, Lovejoy, Mike & Angelo
Paul Grunert as Ivor Willis
Previously seen in Series 1 of Spatz and would return in Series 3. Website 
David Harewood as Derek Pewley
Also been in The Bill, Casualty, The Vice, Babyfather, A&E, Press Gang, Robin Hood, Doctor Who, Homeland & had his own ITV1 ident. Darek would return in Series 3. David Harewood on Twitter

There is a script summary for this episode on the Episode Summaries Page. It's also available on YouTube.

Spatz Series 3

Grant Cathro writes: 'By the time we got to series three, Lee and I (for better or for worse!) were writing all the scripts.'

All Series 3 episodes were first shown on Fridays at 4:40pm, and lasted 25 minutes.

 

3.1 High Flier

First shown 28/02/92

'Dexter sucks up to a customer and before you know it, has the offer of a high-flying new job. Meanwhile, Vince persuades Karen to buy up a tonne of toy hamburgers as give-away gifts.'

Guest cast:
Adam Tedder as Eric
John Bardon as Inspector Platt
First of three appearances Series. Also in EastEnders as Jim Branning. Passed away in 2014
Simon Blake as Customer
Gladys Crosbie as 'The Queen Mother'
David Fielder as Mr. Brice
John Lloyd Fillingham as Customer

This episode is available on YouTube. 

 

3.2 Witness

First shown 06/03/92

'The betting shop across the mall [named Grant Lee Bookmakers] is raided and Freddy almost thwarts the escape of the man in motorbike leathers who brandishes a gun and hares off. Freddy's proclaimed the heroine of the day, but quickly comes to realise that as the only witness, she could soon be in for an unwanted visit. Then a man in a crash helmet starts hanging around in the mall... 

Meanwhile, Karen's latest coup involves Brewster Dwight of the American Tourist Office, coach loads of culturally-starved Yanks, and an authentic English eatery called Ye Olde Spatz.'

Guest cast:
John Bardon as Inspector Platt
Chooi Kheng Beh as Grant Lee. His name is a reference to Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman
Miranda Kingsley 
Carol Macready 
Graham McGrath as Julian
Matt Zimmerman as Brewster Dwight
Also been in T-Bag, Mike & Angelo, Thunderbirds, UFO

In this episode, Freddy names her favourite band as Sins of the Flesh. This was a real band at the time whose members included Lee Pressman's daughter. Mike Mason in Mike & Angelo names it as his favourite band too.

This episode is available on YouTube. 

 

3.3 Tango

First shown 13/03/92

'When it comes out that Spatz employee Stanley and Blimpy kid Margaret are partners at a ballroom dancing contest, Ivor Willis is round stirring trouble - and soon the two rival hamburger chains are up against each other in a dance contest of their own, with big money and reputations at stake. Amidst all of this, Karen has discovered that her idol Frapelli is an exotic bird fanatic and spends a fortune on a rare parrot in a bid to gain his affections. Unfortunately someone left the window open ...'

Guest cast:
Paul Grunert as Ivor Willis
Previously seen in Series 1 and 2 of Spatz. Website
Caroline Ryder as Margaret Scott
Also been in Truckers, Inspector Morse. Clic Agency webpage
Ann Gosling as Girl
Also been in Next Of Kin, Jim’s Gift
Nicholas Parsons as Himself
TV and radio presenter (Just A Minute, Call My Bluff). Also been in Kappatoo, Cluedo, Docotor Who.  Website

This episode was repeated on Sunday 6th January 2013 at 9:50am on Children's ITV as part of the 30th anniversary Old Skool Weekend. It is available to watch on YouTube. 

 

3.4 Extortion

First shown 20/03/92

'It's smiles all the way at Spatz, as Karen instigates a new initiative whereby any employee caught not beaming cheesily at the customers will have their pay docked. But the grins quickly dry up when a gruesome bunch of mobsters appear in T J’s office and try to extort money out of him. But Thomas Jefferson Strickland is not about to be intimidated by the likes of Horace Flint and his blockhead cronies. However, he is about to be duffed up ...'

Guest cast:
Richard O'Callaghan as Horace Flint
Also been in McCallum, Red Dwarf: The Movie, Carry On Loving
Leigh Funnelle as Amanda Quince
Also been in Fever Pitch, Spooks
Alan Bennion as Philip
Also been in B&B, Doctor Who, Psychomania
Phil Atkinson as Manfred
Also been in The Bill, Poirot, Birds Of A Feather
Anthony Venditti as Vicar
Also been in The Tomorrow People
Andrew Jarvis as Bald Man
Also been in The Wars Of The Roses

There is a script summary for this episode on the Episode Summaries Page. The episode is available in full on YouTube here and here and here (original 1992 broadcast with CITV continuity).

 

3.5 The Curse Of Karen

First shown 27/03/92

'Karen gets tough with a pair of loopy bag ladies who are creating mayhem in the restaurant and summarily throws them out into the mall. One of them puts a curse on Karen, who is unmoved by the old woman's rantings. However, the curse gives Vince a very nifty idea of how to get Karen off their backs for a spell. Meanwhile, TJ helps rescue the Saturday morning TV kids' favourite Lenny’s Lunchtime Laugh-In from the rain, by inviting the television crew to stage the show inside the restaurant.'

Guest cast:
Denise Coffey as Mildred
Previously seen in Series 2 of Spatz.
Anna Wing as Lou
Also been in Mike & Angelo, The Bill, Casualty, Eastenders, Providence
Geoffrey Swann as Businessman
Also been in Poirot, Second Thoughts, Seeing Red
Jan Ravens as Pippa Dee
Impressionist, also heard on 2DTV, Dead Ringers, Spitting Image. Also been in T-Bag, Doctors, Midsomer Murders, B&B, One Foot In The Grave
Benjamin Hallam as Craig
Lucy Briers as Hayley
Also been in The Bill, Red Dwarf, Pride And Prejudice & is Richard Briers' daughter
Terry Hall and Lenny The Lion as Themselves
Ventriloquist and puppet, seen on BBC from 1956.

There is a script summary for this episode on the Episode Summaries Page. The episode is available in full on YouTube.

 

3.6 Driving Miss Wesley

First shown 03/04/92

The episode's title parodies the film Driving Miss Daisy.

'Derek has been driving Debbie up the wall again. More correctly, Debbie's been learning to drive and Derek's been learning how not to teach her. The fighting reaches a head when Debbie slams the brakes on their grand affair - and starts seeing someone else in her lunch breaks. Meanwhile, the staff earn extra money by assembling Christmas crackers, and TJ and Karen become attached to one another when an experiment with a set of handcuffs goes horribly wrong.'

Guest cast:
Denyse Alexander
Also been in Casualty, Midsomer Murders, Goodnight Mister Tom, Polterguests
David Harewood as Derek Pewley
John Grillo as Stuart Stubbs
Also been in B&B, Mike & Angelo, Blackadder II, Lovejoy, Cracker
Roger Monk as Burglar
Also been in The Fifth Element, The Krays
William Vanderpuye as Driving Instructor
Also been in Casualty, Minder, Jonathan Creek

There is a script summary for this episode on the Episode Summaries Page.

There are clips on YouTube here and here. The episode is also available in full on YouTube, including original Children's ITV continuity at the beginning and end.

This episode includes the phrase "luminous chamois", also used in by a guest actor in Mike & Angelo episode 6.3.

With thanks to Lee Pressman, here is the rehearsal script for Driving Miss Wesley. There are several interesting differences from the broadcast episode, including a closing exchange between Debbie and Derek.

 

3.7 Poetry And Music

First shown 10/04/92

'Vince is in love. She came into his life and she stole his heart - and also, apparently, his tongue, since Vince can't summon up the courage to speak to her. Then when he recovers his voice, he doesn't know what to say with it. The reason? She's a university student of English majoring in poetry, and the only rhymes Vince knows are the ones scratched on the back of the lavatory door. Upstairs in the office, Karen draws up plans to rid the mall of buskers.'

Guest cast:
Chloë Annett as Donna Edwards
Also been in Red Dwarf, Crime Traveller
John Bardon as Inspector Platt
Previously seen in Series 3 Episode 1
Alan Cox as Graham
Also been in Casualty, Miami Vice, Mrs. Dalloway
Tom Mannion as Busker
Also been in The Bill, Mike & Angelo, Brookside, Return Of The Jedi

This episode is available on YouTube.

Questions & Answers

Grant Cathro has kindly answered the following questions, which were submitted by visitors to the website:

 

Q. Where did the name Spatz come from? (Stephen)

A. The title survived the development work Lee [Pressman] and I did from Andrew Bethell’s original concept of Spatz as a teen soap. In his version, the restaurant was a 1930s themed burger bar (Spatz were black & white leather shoes of the period). We decided to dump all of this, because we didn't like it. We felt the show would hit home far better if the place looked like any old branch of Wimpy or McDonald's. This made the title 'Spatz' seem redundant... except we’d got used to calling the show by this name and had grown quite fond of it. Good titles being very hard to come up with, keeping it also saved us some headaches. Then it struck us that Spatz could be used in another sense: a 'spat' also means a 'small fight' or 'heated disagreement' - so Spatz might just as well mean: 'lots of squabbling and cruelty' - perfection!

 

Q. Why did Spatz end? (Stephen)

A. As ever, there’s no easy answer to this. I've been involved in a number of big hit shows over the years, and every so often the axe comes down and it seems inexplicable … The ratings were astronomical for Spatz - at one point I believe it smashed all ITV records in getting what they call a '75% share' of the viewers. A figure like this would be impossible now. Then, suddenly, it’s 'chop' and you're history. The truth is, it’s all down to the Executive Producers, Heads of Departments, and all these kinds of people; humble writers like us never really get a look in. So it's a mixture of internal politics, changes at the top (new Heads of Departments take over and don’t necessarily want to inherit somebody else’s success, they want to make their own successes, and that means 'the boot' - it's a tough hard world, and you've just got to take it on the chin - be glad you were able to get to 33 episodes and not get the plug pulled on you after 6!)

 

Q. Any chance Spatz will come back on air, with new episodes being made? (Sid)

A. I'd like to think the show has stood the test of time, and a viable format will always be a viable format - but life moves on. If a commissioning editor were to say to me: "resurrect Spatz?" I'd leap at the chance because I always felt we could have wrung a lot more out of the idea than just 33 eps. Inevitably it would mean starting out fresh, though. Times do change, and whilst there was nothing especially time-specific about the show (it wasn't satire, for instance) there would probably be less 1990s 'cut and thrust' (expressed mainly through Karen's ultra-obsession about Bottom Line Figures) and more New Millennium paranoia. This would be nothing but a good thing.

So I guess the real answer is: yes, it could work again but it would need to be different.  My main goal would be to rid any new show of this puerile kids’ TV desperation to be 'cool'.

 

Q. Having since watched re-runs of Moonlighting [a 1980s US series which featured Sybil Shepherd and Bruce Willis playing characters with an antagonistic will-they-won’t-they relationship], I was wondering whether there was any inspiration in that for the relationship between Karen and TJ? I always thought there was a definite romantic tension there, even if Karen supposedly despised TJ! (Ellis)

A. No, we didn't base the Karen/TJ relationship on anything in Moonlighting (actually I don't even think I’ve seen it) we developed the double-act with the Canadian writers, pitching them originally as 'nice cop nasty cop' on the management side; Lee and I added the romantic tension stuff in Series 2, once we saw how charismatic the actors were when working together - this moved the show on a bit, gave it a fresh dynamic and lots of new storyline potential. Karen's insane jealousy over TJ's girlfriend in Fire Alarm [episode 2.5] is one of my own favourites. In series three we thought "ok enough of that now" and returned to Karen and TJ as sparring partners. It would have been great to see where it might've gone if we’d got a Series 4. Alas ...!

Casting crossovers

One of the pleasures of closer examination of Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman's work is noticing how actors appeared in more than one of the series that the pair wrote and produced. The most obvious example, certainly to anyone who watched Mike & Angelo and Spatz back-to-back during the CITV Old Skool Weekend of January 2013, is arguably Katy Murphy, who appeared in two main casts; but there have been many more. 

Grant and Lee have themselves commented on this practice in interviews on the High-T website:

'Lee and I always had our favourite actors who understood how best to play our work. People like Matt Zimmerman always hit the style perfectly. It had to be big, but subtle. As soon as we found those few performers who were able and willing to be unbuttoned and really let rip, we tried to use them over and over.

A kind of Rep. Company grew up, which was lovely. How brilliant to see familiar faces turning up in different guises. You find the same thing happening in the great Laurel & Hardy films (my favourite comedies in all the world!!!) where Stan and Ollie clearly adored working with people like James Finlayson and the ever-wondrous Mae Busch.'

- Grant Cathro

'After several years, and several hit series, Grant and I were allowed to suggest actors for the shows – and ones that we liked, we kept bringing back. Kerry Shale, Matt Zimmerman, Murray Melvin, James Saxon, John Savident etc. flitted from T.Bag to Mike & Angelo, and from Spatz to The Tomorrow People. They were fantastic reliable actors with our sense of humour, and would always turn in a great performance. It was much more satisfying for us to be writing for people we knew and admired.'

- Lee Pressman

'We were thrilled when [T-Bag's] Liz Estensen agreed to Guest Star a few times [in Mike & Angelo] as Mike's stuck-up next door neighbour Daphne Fawkes-Bentley, and several other parts were gleefully given out to various members of the "T-Bag Rep" who were always such fun to have around.'

- Grant Cathro

'It was certainly fun moving actors around from one series to the next. Anthony O'Donnell definitely featured in all three, Matt Zimmerman naturally, Alex Bartlette - many others were in two – Liz Estensen, Kerry Shale, John Savident, etc. It would be a great exercise to draw up a chart and monitor which actor went where and when.'

- Lee Pressman